My Book

Women Have All The Power… Too Bad They Don’t Know It.

SYNOPSIS

As thousands of women grow up in single parent homes, often times without a loving male in sight, they lack the understanding of what really makes a man tick. The author, a father of three girls, felt it was time to unveil the true secrets behind men’s relentless pursuit of women. He takes an in-your-face approach to relationships by spotlighting sex and how modern day dating and romance has neglected traditional family values.

Table of Contents

Chapter I - Aren’t You Tired

Chapter II - Manology

Chapter III - Stay In Your Own Lane

Chapter IV - Keeping The “Piece”

Chapter V - Give Him A “Peace”

Chapter VI - The Y2K Woman

Chapter VII - No War And “Piece”

Excerpts

“…I started to write and I realized that there are many women in our country that could benefit from the secrets that I am imparting to my daughters. The lessons here are invaluable, and it doesn’t matter how old you are; every lady on earth is someone’s daughter. As a matter of fact, some of the things that I discuss in this book are very unpopular with some of my male friends. One of them even said, “Man, do you have to tell them all that, if they don’t know, they just don’t know! It’s one thing to tell your own daughters, but why do you have to tell the whole world?” That’s when it dawned on me how I could actually be a positive influence on many women.

LOCKWOOD SAYS…
"Think of a man as a beautiful, grand piano. When played by an untrained hand all it produces is noise. However, when stroked by the hands of an expert, the results are incredible. I’m going to teach you how to get the best music out of your piano."

There are literally thousands of ladies, especially in the African American community, that are growing up, or have grown up, without a loving fathers or male figure in their lives. Many of them spend their entire lives on the road of hard knocks trying to figure out how to be good wives, good mothers, and even a good girlfriend. After all, how could they possibly know any better if they never had a father in the home to teach them, nor an example of how a man and woman interface in a successful relationship? In fact, many women are choosing not to marry at all. According to the U.S. Census, African Americans are marrying each other at the lowest rate ever recorded. Imagine if you wanted to teach yourself to swim, but every time you got in the water you just about drown, pretty soon you’re going to decide that swimming just isn’t the activity for you. Many women have reached that point of exhaustion. They’re just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

When I was dating, I could always tell when a woman didn’t grow up with a strong male role model in her life. Many of these women don’t even realize that they were giving off that vibe, but a wise man can spot it as clear as a neon sign. When an opportunistic man spots that trait, he knows its going to be as easy as “taking candy from a baby” to take advantage of you. So many women today desperately need a man’s love, but the only way that they can relate to that emotion is through intimacy. That is why a father’s love is irreplaceable. It allows our daughters to feel unconditional love and compassion without ever being physically intimate. Can you imagine how damaging such a thing can be for a young woman that sets off looking for love in all the wrong places? The important thing now is to acknowledge the fact that there is an entire generation of young ladies whose only way of learning about men is by what they get on the streets, what they see on television, and by trial and error.”

LOCKWOOD SAYS…
"Too often women want to size him up for a wedding tuxedo before they even get to know him; playing house when they should be playing it cool.”

“Too many women attempt blame men for their relationship woes. If you let women tell it, they’ll try to make you believe that they’ve got it all together, and they would have no problems if their man would just “act right.” I actually get tired of hearing these same ole complaints, “My man cheated on me.” “My husband abused me.” “This other man was on the “Down Low.” “All men are dogs.” Don’t blame men every time you come up short in a relationship. If you’re looking for someone to blame, start with yourself. A man can only do what you allow. If you allow nonsense, then nonsense is what you’ll get. If you demand respect, respect is what you’ll get. Remember, you’ve got the gas and the brake under your food. But, you’ve got to learn how to demand respect. If you’re consistently having problems with men, start with the only thing that is consistent in all of your bad relationships – YOU!”

LOCKWOOD SAYS…
"Submission is only a bad thing if you don’t take your time to find a man that’s worthy."

“DON’T ignore the red flags!” Some women are notorious for ignoring the warning signs even if they’re staring you right in the face. Instead of those flags just sitting there while you ignore them, let me wave a few of them for you. This way you can’t say I didn’t tell you.

1. If your man is living in his mother’s house for more than a couple of months (I give a small grace period) – RED FLAG!

2. Does your man drive an expensive car, but rents an apartment? – RED FLAG!

3. Does your man over accessorizes? – RED FLAG!

4. If your man wears more than one ring per hand, more than one bracelet per wrist, and more than one necklace per neck. – RED FLAG!

5. If your man is always the one that’s over-dressed for the occasion. - RED FLAG!

6. If your man is constantly spending money on you without regard to price (i.e. clothes, trips, jewelry) - RED FLAG!

7. Does your man constantly ask to “hold” some money or expect you to pay while on dates? - RED FLAG!

8. If he first approaches you with a flattering, yet rehearsed lines. - RED FLAG!

9. If he says he has a job but can’t articulate exactly what it is that he does for a living. - RED FLAG!

10. If he talks more about himself than he inquires about you. - RED FLAG!

REMEMBER YOUR POWER!”

THE THRILL OF THE HUNT

Relationships will always frustrate you until you understand this very important concept. MEN NEED TO BE CHALLENGED! Men are aggressive by nature, and once we devour our prey we’re off on the next hunt. This means, that once a man feels that he has you effectively under control, he will move on to the next prey that presents a greater challenge. As a rule, you should be elusive enough to keep the hunter hunting, and accessible enough for him not to quit. I’m not saying that he need to go to gunfight with a water pistol, he merely need a small challenge.

Society basically dictates that a woman should have a man on her arm. This additional pressure has changed some rules to the game. Once a woman passes the age of 30 or so, she is expected to be married, and have a couple of crumb snatchers. What society thinks of you can best be observed by the dumb questions people ask. I’ve heard them ask things like, “What’s wrong, why aren’t you married yet? What are you waiting for? Your so pretty, why can’t you find a husband?” I cringe every time I hear those types of questions. Don’t let this pressure lead you to become the type of prey that lies at the hunter’s feet. Again - better alone than poorly accompanied.

LOCKWOOD SAYS…
"Better alone than poorly accompanied.”

Do you remember me talking about how men had to court women in order to gain her good graces? Well, it’s tough for a man to court a woman if they are pursuing him with pit bull tenacity. I know the word “court” is very old fashion and not necessarily hip, but it’s what you should require before you give him your seal of approval. A woman’s aggression works against man’s basic blueprint. Again, I say, men are aggressive by nature, with animal-like instincts - the hunter. What’s a hunter to do when his prey basically walks up and lies down at his feet? I’ll tell you what he does; it’s the same thing that happens with wild animals. Let’s say we take a lion out of his natural habitat, and everyday we bring his food to him. Then years later we take him back. Check out what happens. He no longer wants to hunt for his food. He has becomes lazy and apathetic, and patiently dies, because he is no longer accustomed to hunting for his own food. The same is true for men. These days, they are so accustomed to women chasing them that they have become lazy, and unwilling to hunt. They’d rather wait for a woman to approach them than to pursue the one that he wants. Now guess who created this monster? Women. And it’s going to take women to fix it. Ladies, always maintain your dignity! A man will never respect you when he senses that you’ll stop at nothing to gain his heart.

I would love to leave that point right there, but I know I’ve got go a little deeper. Never make life-changing decisions to be with a man that you’re not married to. By that I mean, don’t move to another city, change jobs, or change universities. Keep him hunting. I can’t begin to tell you how many women have done this and come up empty handed. This type of aggression rarely, if ever wins a man’s heart. “Just keep on living,” as my mother used to say. If he is serious about you, he will do what it takes. He should start by putting a ring on your finger.

LOCKWOOD SAYS…
"Marriage doesn’t kill marriage. People kill marriage.”

As a hunter hunts, he is very observant of everything around him. Therefore, it’s great to show your man that you have skills, but don’t overdo it. Show him that you can cook; show him that you can clean; show him that you can be the breadwinner if need be; show him that you can meet his needs both in the home and out. Just don’t do it to a point where he comes to expect it. Show him that you’re willing to stand by his side – to a point. If you allow him to get where he’s completely comfortable with you and the relationship, you’ve lost him. You’ve got to keep some of the “goodies in the jar.” These are the things that keep a hunter hunting. He can think that you’re the finest thing walking the earth, but if you become the aggressor, taking his rightful place, he will divert his attention elsewhere. A hunter will hunt a prey that hides, one that runs, one that even bites, but a hunter rarely hunts something that’s hunting him back. You’re probably saying to yourself that you would never do such a thing, but I am willing to bet that you’ve done it before, or you’re in the processing of doing it right now. Here are a few NO-NOs that will help you keep the hunt alive.

1. Don’t invite yourself to his activities or verbally complain that you weren’t invited. If he wanted you to go along he would ask.

2. Don’t move to another city to be with a man that is not your husband. Now, how often have you heard of one of your girlfriends doing this one?

3. Don’t use shameful attempts to pressure him into marrying you. When a hunter sees what he wants he will go after it.

4. Eliminate the following phrases from your vocabulary: “Where is this going?” “I’m not going to date you forever.” “When are we getting married?” “I might be pregnant.”

5. If you’ve chosen to abstain from sex until you’re married, don’t change your mind for fear of losing him. Stick to your morals and values. If he truly wants you, he will stay.

6. Don’t abandon your friends, hobbies, or goals in an effort to be with him ALL THE TIME. Keep a healthy lifestyle. Women find the man that they think is “the one” and they drop everything to pursue the relationship. Don’t do that!

7. Don’t attempt to accommodate his every need. Leave something for marriage.

8. If you choose to make sex a part of your relationship, don’t give up ALL the goods! Again, leave something for him after marriage.

9. Don’t agree with everything he says. Freely voice your opinion. It’s better to find out that you’re not compatible sooner than later.

10. Lastly, NEVER START DOING ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN’T CONTINUE TO DOING FOR THE DURATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP!

REMEMBER YOUR POWER!

LOCKWOOD SAYS…
"A great relationship is no more than a beautiful dance. The man leads and the woman follows. As long as the man is a good leader and the woman submits to her partner, they effortlessly glide across the dance floor. But watch the drama that jumps off when a woman tries to take control during a dance with a man that’s a good leader – nothing short of disaster. Relationships work the same way. As my pastor used to say, “The only thing I know with two heads is a monster.”

One more attempt to drive this point home. Men are not content to acquire “the low lying fruit.” A friend of mine once told me that, “Men can have hundreds of suitable apples all around their feet, but they’re not happy unless they’re going for that big, shinny apple on the highest branch.” Always keep the hunter hunting.”

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